


She who knows me

by Shally



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: F/F, Self-Doubt, Takes place before sept 1st, tender moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 02:28:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11431266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shally/pseuds/Shally
Summary: Machi always wondered what her role in the spider was. Pakunoda assures she's everything and more.





	She who knows me

**Author's Note:**

> A small look at Machi as a character before the yorknew arc, and when Pakunoda was still around.

Machi kicks up her feet on the couch arm in the sleazy motel, trying not to eye the weird stain in the corner, or mind the creaks that were coming from the room above hers. It had been a few hours since the troupe had met up for their yearly meeting, simply to discuss possible heist points in the upcoming months, not that Machi cared.

Compared to the others, stealing and killing weren’t exactly highlights with her, but rather she was driven to do such acts because she cared for the members of the troupe, some more intimately than others. 

Chrollo would always be her role model, a man who managed to seem so confident in any type of scenario, be it good or bad. He was admirable, and Machi felt herself often comparing herself to him. She wondered if she would ever be as charismatic as he was, or as driven. 

People thought of her as cold and unfazed, nothing more than a medic who could fix anything as long as it had bones, muscles, ligaments, and cells. 

Machi wondered if her abilities were the only reason Chrollo had insisted to keep her around, before dismissing that thought. Of course she wasn't just around to be used. She did have a tenency of being too needy, however, always having to rely on others for emotional support, even if they were fiendish people like Hisoka. 

Where Feitan was cruel, and Shalnark uncaring, at least they had some kind of social skills to counteract their overpowering personality flaws. There had to be a reason Phinks, Nobunaga, and Uvogin enjoyed being around the other two. 

Machi realized a long time ago that she was a lone wolf in vicious pack brought together by a cunning fox. She was better at going along with plans than initiating them. 

It was something she was working on changing 

A moan from the television causes her to sigh, not bothering to change the channel. In her line of work she had seen a lot of skin, so human genitalia didn’t bother her. 

“Looks like you’re lost in thought again,” a woman’s voice says from the ratty single bed in the room, and Machi shoots Pakunoda a quick look. 

Lying on her stomach in nothing but a pair of boxers, probably pilfered from one of the other members of the troupe, Pakunoda had no qualms with how exposed her upper body was. 

Confident in her abilities as well as her body, it was a trait that the woman shared with their beloved danchou. 

“It’s really nothing.” Machi says plainly.

“Usually you don’t watch such promiscuous channels.” The blonde says knowingly, moving to sit up and cross her legs, the gun sitting beside her reflecting the light from the television. “You only get like this after the troupe comes together, you aren’t doubting the spider are you?” she questions, knowing for a fact Machi didn't.

“No, I have full faith in danchou. I’m surprised you aren’t by his side. Usually it’s you and Shalnark who accompany him.” 

Pakunoda leans back on her hands, glancing up at the ceiling as a loud thump causes her to purse her lips, “Phinks insisted, and as you know, where the enhancer goes, the transmutter is close behind with his umbrella.” 

“If you wanted to go, danchou would have allowed it.” Machi points out.

“That’s correct, but for this instance I didn’t think I should. Phinks and Feitan insited.” She stares at the woman, watching the sexual acts on the television without a single facial expression, “this wouldn’t be my ideal location to be inconspicuous, seeing how it is too far from any transit, and noisy.”

“It was easy to get in here,” Machi shrugs, “we won’t be going anywhere for the next week, and we’re close to a market, so it seemed ideal.”

The blonde stretches out her legs and gets off the bed, walking to the couch and resting against it, “you’re depressed.”

Machi wasn’t sure if she knew how to be depressed. She was aware of the emotion, but didn’t know how to place it with how she felt. 

A finger trails up against Machi’s throat, running over her jaw, a familiar touch causing sparks over her skin. Machi knew how intimate it was to be simply grazed by the blonde, since it meant exposing all of her inner thoughts to Pakunoda. Machi was always guarded around the other members, but she didn’t feel threatened by the woman’s prying this time around, rather it was somewhat of a comfort. 

The blonde hums, “This is why I decided to stay here instead of being with Chrollo. I know you need the company.” Pakunoda says lowly, “you’re cold.” 

“It seems that everyone I know says I am,” Machi offers a small smirk, finding the expression used to be ironic to her own cynicism. 

“That’s not what I meant.” Paku clarifies, running a thumb over the woman’s lips, having seen everything, felt it, heard it. “So this is what you’ve been thinking about…you should have said something sooner.”

They both knew Pakunoda was talking about Machi’s self dialogue of her role in the spider; of Machi's sudden bout of pessimistic thinking. 

“You’re more valuable than you believe.” Paku offers a rare smile, releasing the woman and allowing Machi to hide behind her mental walls once again. "You are the web that holds us all together. We would not have been here if it weren't for you."

“I’ll believe you.” Machi says quietly, not sure if it was her sudden vulnerability making her feel so indebted to Pakunoda and her ability to say the right thing at the right moment. 

Pakunoda runs a hand through her hair, her lean stomach muscles leading up to a full chest and slender shoulders. Machi doesn’t feel embarrassed by her staring, and neither does the other woman. 

“I’m going to take a shower,” Paku says with a sigh, turning to walk to the shabby washroom, grabbing a towel on the way. “Would you like to join me?”

Machi peers up at the ceiling, and then to the television, “fine. Since there’s nothing better to do but watch porn.”

Pakunoda smiles, knowing that she didn’t need to read minds in this particular moment to know that Machi was lying. 

One day Machi would be able to own up to her own emotions, a day pakunoda would willingly pay to see. 

But until then, using her nen to connect with a woman she knew she loved was Pakunoda’s only alternative.


End file.
